It's my blog and I'll go on tangents if I want to

Now, first off, I'm about to say I a lot in this post. I know this is a blog post, not a feature article, but I've been marinating on Susan Pape and Sue Featherstone's Feature Writing: A Practical Introduction a lot recently. Again, this is a blog post and is thus not really what they're talking about at all in their essay, but I'm petty. I just want it known on the record that I see the logic in telling people that they should write what their audience finds interesting and I still absolutely hate it. I'd rather write a full gross of things that only I enjoy than write five things for other people to enjoy, because frankly, chances are that someone out there enjoys my exact kind of freak shit. I've been told I'm a very passionate person. My only hope is that my passion is infectious. I want to write stories about things that only I care about so that, eventually, through me, other people will care about them too. Nothing against Pape and Featherstone, really.

Where's the CSS?

I have a really stressful Latin exam tomorrow. My brain is full of nothing but fifth declension nouns and confusion about what exactly praemisso means. I opened the CSS guide and immediately panicked. A lot more goes into CSS than HTML. HTML is simple--at the end of the day, you're just typing words into software that then mystically format them into a website. I understand the general idea of that.

CSS, though? Christ.

In a way, I shouldn't be surprised by this. I assumed that once I'd gotten a general grasp on HTML, I would be able to dive into CSS, but, considering my contentious background in graphic design, I should have seen this coming. I abhor graphic design. I have a significant background in digital art, which means that every single person who has ever been privy to this fact assumes I can design them a logo or a poster or some such nonsense, and the truth is that I simply can't. I am unable to. I mean, I probably could, but it would be highly unpleasant for me and everyone else involved.

So what do I find so intimidating about it? The cleanliness? The focus on advertisement? The fact that I don't actually have a good grasp on shape language and basic principles of design? Am I just scared of hex codes?

It's probably all of these. Articles like WAC Clearinghouse's beautiful publishing guide are a great online resource as I try to cheat my way into understanding the building blocks of a good design. They also completely intimidate me. The concept of a style sheet, though, now that seems like a good idea. It's one that CSS and the news article have in common. Maybe if I establish a good, solid style inspiration for my CSS sheet, I'll find the whole affair less existentially terrifying. I find a lot of things existentially terrifying, though, so... we'll see.

To be quite honest, there are a metric fuckload of online CSS templates for websites. Why am I not using one here?

I don't know. I guess I just wanted it to be mine. And also because the last time I tried to borrow one, it looked so complicated I gave up immediately. So I think I should really understand how these things work, first.

In the end, this post feels like filler. I'm sorry I couldn't learn the skills I wanted to. I'm sorry I couldn't display the skills I've learned about design yet. I'm sorry this isn't very interesting to anyone else. But at the end of the day, it is my blog, and I can take more time to learn something intimidating if I want to. Even if none of this is interesting to other people, someday, it'll be a record of the place I started, and one that I find valuable even now. I should have started a blog years ago, this is great!